Pimp My Sasuke Again!
by La-Garce-Fille
Summary: Sequeal to Pimp My Sasuke. Sasuke still wants to be a pimp, and this time, Kakashi's gonna let him. What happens? Crazyness, of course.
1. Pimpness is allowed

-stands on random _Titanic_ bow with Orlando Bloom behind her (think Rose and Jack!)- SEQUEAL!

-comes back in room, looks at readers, and clears throat- Uh…yeah… It's all good. Uhh…Sorry about that…

Whatever. -sighs- Yeah, yeah. I'm back. I had some people that were all 'Update soon!' and 'Make another chapter!' Well, for a long time, I didn't do that. But now, I figured I'd be nice and give you a sequel. Now, I'm not sure if this sequel is gonna follow the rule of sequels (the sequel is not as good as the original) or not. I mean, I hope it's better, but hoping sometimes doesn't work out very well…

Oh, BTB, if you didn't read the original "Pimp My Sasuke", then stop reading this and go check it out! This one'll make much more sense if you do. And, also, if you don't read it, you'll break my heart. And you don't want a broken heart on your conscience.

Part two of a trilogy.

So, without further _adieu, _let's get started with my new fic!

**Sasuke: **Disclaimer.

**LGF: **Oh, yeah…Forgot about that. You do it, Sasu-kun.

**Sasuke: **-sighs- Fine.

Disclaimer: (By Sasuke) La-Garce-Fille doesn't own Naruto. Or me. Or Kakashi. Or-

**LGF: **Uh, I think they get the point. Thank you, Sasuke.

**Sasuke: **Huh? Oh, yeah. No problem.

**LGF:** Oh, and I kinda don't own Orlando Bloom either…sadly…Or the words "Pimp my" in relation to the show…

* * *

_/Uchiha Manor…or, whatever Sasuke lives in…/_

Well, it's been three weeks (…Time moves slower in fic world…?) since Sasuke had first suggested to Kakashi that the two of them and Naruto should be pimps. Well, Kakashi still doesn't have any money. Yeah, three weeks and they still can't come up with an idea to get cash. Lazy bums. Need to get a damn job…

"So…" Sasuke began. You guessed it. He was gonna suggest it again…

Fortunately, Kakashi knew where this was going. So, getting the bored look in his visible eye, he dully, yet firmly, said, "No."

Sasuke stuck out his lower lip and pouted silently, slouching back on his couch.

"You guys, " Naruto said seriously (Oh dear Lord. Naruto is serious...), "We really need to think of something. I mean, it's been three weeks. We're still jobless, Kakashi-sensei still has no money, and I'm going out of my friggin mind trying to think of something!"

Sasuke and Kakashi blinked in a mixture of confusion and worry for the young, blonde shinobi. Naruto, sensing the worry, took a deep breath and said, "Sorry. I'm just stressed."

"Don't worry about it, Naruto," Kakashi said reassuringly. "We're all a little stressed." He sighed deeply. "You know, I think I should just come up with an idea on my own. This is too much pressure for you two. I mean, you're twelve. You're young and should be out enjoying the day and your lives. Not helping your sensei come up with an occupation that he should've done a long time ago…You know, I remember…"

Sasuke and Naruto sat silently listening to Kakashi rant.

"Hey, Naruto?" Sasuke whispered.

"What Sasuke?" Naruto whispered back.

"The hell is he going on about?"

"I'm not sure. He just keeps going on and on about it, though. It must be important to him, I guess."

"That's stupid."

Sasuke got up off his couch and walked over to the rambling jounin. He tapped Kakashi on the shoulder, gaining his attention. "Kakashi-sensei, Naruto and I have no friggin idea what you're talking about, but we know that it has something to do with your job situation. Well, lack of one."

"Yeah. And?" Kakashi asked, growing a little concerned on what was going to come out of Sasuke's mouth next.

"Well…it's been three weeks. And since only one job still appeals to me, and Naruto as well, maybe we should give it a shot. Well?" Sasuke pulled out the puppy-dog eyes. Kakashi was in for it now…

Kakashi sighed. He hated it when he was right. But, this time, he had an idea. "You know what, Sasuke? You're right. It has been a few weeks, and we have really only come up with one somewhat decent idea. Let's give it a shot."

Naruto and Sasuke's eyes widened considerably. "Seriously?" they asked in unison, shock and disbelief evident in their voices.

Kakashi grinned, which was, of course, covered by his mask. "As serious as Gai is about being better than me. (In case you don't know, that's pretty damn serious…) I'm gonna let you boys be pimps. But, you'll have to get it set-up. Find the people to pimp and the ones we pimp to, then come back and give me the details. We'll run it together. You have until tomorrow morning. Meet me at the bridge at 8:30, and we'll go over your progress. Okay?"

"YES!" The boys yelled together. They were gonna be pimps!

"Okay. Don't fail me, boys. I'm counting on you." And with that, there was a puff of grey smoke. After a second, the smoke cleared, revealing that Kakashi had left. And there you had it: Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke were gonna be twelve-year-old pimps.

"So…" Sasuke began.

"So," Naruto responded.

"I guess we should get started then, huh?"

"I guess so. I mean, Kakashi-sensei did say until tomorrow morning, right?"

"Yeah, right. He did say that." Sasuke grabbed his key and pushed Naruto out of the house. "Let's go, then, loser! We don't have much time."

_/The Village/_

Sasuke and Naruto walked the village in silence. They were both thinking of the people they could ask to pimp. Who would be willing to give their bodies away to strange people they probably didn't know? Well, Naruto had an idea. So, grabbing Sasuke's arm, he began to pull him to the location of their first askee.

"Naruto! Where the hell are you taking me?" Sasuke demanded, still getting pulled along by the excited blonde.

"I know who we can ask to be part of our pimp-y circle, Sasuke!"

"Really?" Sasuke questioned, a small glimmer of hope in his voice. "Who, Naruto? Who!"

"Tsunade-baa-chan!"

Sasuke stopped. "Are you friggin NUTS? The Hokage! Naruto, you idiot! We can't ask Tsunade to be a prostitute!"

"Well, why not?" Naruto asked, completely behooved.

"Why not? Cuz she'll kick our asses, that's why! And, not to mention, she's the Hokage! And Hokages do not become whores, not matter how well suited she probably is to be one."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess you're right, Sasuke. And, plus, she does kinda hate me…which I still don't understand why…"

"Gee, Naruto, I guess the fact that you like to call her 'baa-chan' has nothing to do with it," Sasuke responded sarcastically.

"I know!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. I don't think Naruto shouldn't take up a profession of picking up sarcasm.

Shaking his head at his companion's stupidity, Sasuke just started to walk away to go find some chicks to pimp. Seeing Sasuke walking off, Naruto ran, yelling, "Hey, Sasuke! Wait up!"

_/Team Gai's Training Session/_

Hyuuga Neji, Tenten, and Rock Lee were training in the forest, waiting on their sensei, Maito Gai, to show up. Neji was watching Tenten play target practice…with Lee as the target. "Tenten can be so violent sometimes…" he mused, completely unaware that a couple of wannabe pimps were coming to break up the session.

**Meanwhile**, Sasuke and Naruto had come to the conclusion that finding their whores for their pimp ring was gonna be harder that they thought. So, seeing as they had no ideas anyway, they decided to go ask a wise ninja for his advice. This ninja: Neji. Why? I have no friggin clue…

"So, where do you think they'll be, huh, Sasuke?" Naruto asked

"Knowing those losers, they're probably in the forest, training and what-not," Sasuke answered with a sigh.

"Hm. Well, I guess it's off to the forest! C'mon, Sasuke! There's no time to waste!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm again and proceeded to drag him to the forest.

* * *

Kay. First part of the "Pimp My Sasuke" sequeal is finished. Ya know, this was originally just going to be a one-shot, but then it turned out to be too long. So, I'm just gonna divide it up. It'll be easier that way, don't you guys think?

So. They're going to the forest to find Neji's team! Buwahahahahahahahahaha! Okay...so they're off to find just Neji, but whatever. Tenten and Lee are there too...

So, read and review and expect an update soon. Bye you guys! ;)

_**Updated: **__4/9_


	2. Neji's Advice, the Jounin Lounge

Whee! It's the next part of "Pimp My Sasuke Again!" I'm so excited. Thanks so much to my reviewers and readers. And, remember to go read "Pimp My Sasuke" if you haven't yet. So, enjoy.

Disclaimer: Me owns nothing.

**RECAP: **Naruto and Sauske have permission to be pimps, and can't think of anyone to ask. So, they're off to find Neji, who is in the forest with his team, to ask for his advice.

_Not happening-Prostitutes:_

**Tsunade**

* * *

Tenten shot another four or five kunai at Lee, which he jumped out of the way of easily. She really wasn't even trying anymore. They had been out there awhile and Tenten was beginning to lose her edge. Lee, however, stuck to his claim that he was 'full of youth' and refused to show any sign of fatiguing. Neji chuckled at his teammates. They could be so amusing sometimes. This short moment of chuckling was interrupted by the approaching chakras that were headed his way. Neji watched the chakras' direction closely, a kunai held tightly in his right hand. Tenten and Lee were too busy training/trying to kill each other to notice that they might be in danger, so Neji had to be ready.

The owners of the chakras finally revealed themselves. And when they did, Neji felt like an idiot. A big idiot. '_It's just Uchiha and that blond moron…_' he thought, disappointedly. He wanted to have some fun. So, anyway, assuming that they were going to go to Lee or something, he closed his white eyes to meditate silently. Of course, that silence was broken by the, so-called, blond moron.

"Hey, white eyes! Did you die?" Naruto asked curiously, shaking Neji slightly.

Neji's response was a simple growl.

"SASUKE! He's a zombie!" Naruto pushed Sasuke in front of him to take the brain-sucking he assumed was going to happen from the zombie.

Growing annoyed with this stupid…thing that was happening, Neji opened his eyes only to be met with blue ones right in his face. He blinked in confusion and jerked back, causing his head to hit the tree that he was leaning on. "OW! Dammit!" he cursed, rubbing his poor head.

"Ha! Told you he wasn't dead, dobe," Sasuke commented casually, putting his hands in his pockets.

"No you didn't. You just stepped away from him, making me go to see if he was dead. You never said anything, you bastard," Naruto retorted, crossing his arms and glaring at the relaxed Uchiha.

Well, during this argument, Neji was getting pretty ticked. But, being Hyuuga Neji, he had to keep his cool demeanor. So, he stood up, and tapped Naruto on the shoulder. Naruto turned around slowly and stared at the Hyuuga.

There was an uncomfortable silence, except for the clashing and insulting heard from Lee and Tenten, which was soon broken by Neji.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Well, we came to seek your advice, Neji-kun," Naruto replied, stepping back to join Sasuke.

"Why?"

"Because you're older and smarter than us?" Sasuke said, looking to Naruto, who just shrugged.

"Well, you do have a point there," Neji said in his moment of arrogance. "So, what do you need?"

"Well, Neji-kun, you see, Kakashi-sensei needs to earn some money. So, he asked Naruto and I to help him. So, I came up with this idea to become pimps. But, the problem is, we don't have any prostitutes to pimp and finding some isn't going as easy as we thought. So, we decided to come ask for your advice. Well?" Sasuke explained.

Neji blinked several times. "Umm…you want ME to tell you someone to go try and pimp?"

"Well…yeah," Naruto answered plainly. "So? Who do you suggest?"

"I don't friggin know! Why the hell would you ask _me_?"

"Because…you're Neji, I guess. You supposedly know everything. I mean, they say you're a genius," Naruto said, unsure of the truth of that statement now.

Sasuke scoffed. "Well, I guess we shouldn't have believed what we heard, Naruto. Hyuuga Neji isn't the genius everyone said he was. So, let's just go and find our prostitutes on our own."

"Okay Sasuke. I guess we'll leave," Naruto responded sadly. Then, he looked into the background and saw Tenten chasing Lee with a branch, laughing maniacally. He got an idea. He grabbed Sasuke's sleeve (Because Sasuke was leaving) and pulled him back to stand by him.

"Good God, Naruto! What now?" Sasuke snapped angrily.

"Our next askee to be a whore," Naruto said proudly and pointed to Tenten. Unfortunately, Tenten was still chasing Lee, so she moved and it looked like Naruto was pointing to Lee.

Sasuke's onyx eyes widened. "Naruto, that's Rock Lee! What the hell! Are you drunk?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked, then looked at his pointing. He was, indeed, pointing to Lee. Eyes widening and turning a slight pink, he tried to redeem himself. "NO! Not fuzzy-brows! I meant Tenten! Let's ask Tenten-chan!"

Well, Neji heard all of this, which wasn't a good thing. You see, he had a secret crush on Tenten and definitely didn't want some old men coming within ten feet of her. Especially not to get laid by her. So, anger rising, he stepped in front of Sasuke and Naruto. He had rage burning in his white orbs, fists balled, little veins popping in his forehead, and growling slightly. This sight, of course, scared the hell out of the younger boys. But, one of them was brave enough to say, "Uh…Neji…?" (It was Sasuke!)

"Nobody. Touches. Tenten," he threatened through gritted teeth.

"O-O-Okay…we'll just…leave now…" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's sleeve and began to roughly pull him away from the enraged Hyuuga. "BYE NEJI!" And with that the boys were gone.

Tenten and Lee had noticed the boys and had stopped their chase to give their greetings. But, after seeing Neji get in front of them and then them running away, they became very confused. So, walking up to him, Tenten tapped Neji on the shoulder. He turned around to face her, his nonchalant demeanor back. "Neji, what did you do to those two?"

"It was nothing. Let's go back to training," he answered quickly, pushing Tenten back to a still-stunned Lee. '_Showed those brats,_' Neji thought, chuckling inwardly and a smirk coming across his face.

_/Back with Sasuke and Naruto/_

"Damn. What the hell was his problem?" Naruto complained, kicking a rock.

"Who knows," Sasuke replied, leaning against a fence. "Well, who do we ask next?"

Naruto shrugged. "We could ask Ino-chan?"

Sasuke's eyes widened. "**Hell. No.**"

"Okay. Hm…what about that crazy lady that proctored the second part of the Chuunin exam? You think _she'd_ be a good prostitute?"

Sasuke had to think back. The lady that proctored the second part of the exam… "Oh, yeah. What was her name again?"

Naruto's face went blank. The area went silent with the two boys trying to think of her name. After a couple of minutes, the name came back to them. "Mitarashi Anko!" they both cried out.

"Well? Let's go find her! Come on, Sasuke!" Naruto started to run ahead, but Sasuke had a thought.

"Wait, Naruto! Where are we gonna find her?" he called out after the racing shinobi.

Naruto stopped running. He turned around and began to walk back. Panting and out of breath, he responded, "I don't know. Guess we should try to figure that out, huh?"

Sasuke sweatdropped. "Duh."

Naruto laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah…so. Where would Miss Crazy Lady be?"

Great. Back to thinking.

"Well," Sasuke began. "I guess we should start at the place where all the jounin like to hang out. One of them is bound to know where we could find her."

"Great idea, Sasuke! Let's get going! To the Jounin Lounge!" And with that, the two pimps-in-training set off for the Jounin Lounge.

* * *

-dramatic music plays- The Jounin Lounge. What crazy things are gonna happen there? Well, I suppose you'll just have to wait for the next part, huh?

I can be so evil sometimes... -shrugs- Oh, well.

All right, in my honest opinion, being the authoress and everything, the funniest part of the story is in the third part. Don't get me wrong, it's all pretty funny, but the third part is friggin hilarious. So, await its arrival.

Read and Review, _mes amis_. It'll be very much appreciated.

**Updated:**_4/13_


	3. The all powerful Kunoichi

Well, here's part number 3. This is, by far, the funniest part. Of course, that's just my opinion. I mean, I couldn't stop laughing while I was writing it...

Hey...today's my Grandma's birthday...

Anyway, enjoy, you guys!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. So, don't sue.

**RECAP:** Naruto and Sasuke have had a..._tête-à-tête_ with Neji. They ran away cuz he was gonna kill them and have now decided to ask Mitarashi Anko, the proctor of the second part of the Chuunin Exam, to be part of their pimpy circle. So, it's off to the Jounin Lounge!

_Not Happening-Prostitues:_

**Tsunade**

**Tenten**

**Ino**

* * *

_/The Jounin Lounge/_

(A/N: Yes, I did make up the "Jounin Lounge". So, don't freak and think that it's a real place in the show or manga that you didn't know about…)

It was about six o'clock, and some of the Konoha jounin decided to meet in the Jounin Lounge to have some food. What kind of food? Well…it was Asuma that had to make it…so, it was…ramen. Yeah, Sarutobi Asuma couldn't cook to save his life…

"Ramen?" Yuuhi Kurenai asked, cutting her eyes at Asuma.

"Um…sorry…Kurenai?" Asuma answered, rubbing his head and shrugging.

"Oh, please Kurenai," Anko scoffed. "It's not like you could do any better."

Kurenai got ticked. "Oh, really? Well, at least I can actually make something other than friggin **RAMEN**!"

The whole room cowered slightly at the fuming kunoichi. When kunoichi get mad, they get _**mad**_.

"Kurenai-chan? Are we being visited by our special friend of the month?" Asuma asked, taking a step closer to her. Kurenai glared daggers at him. Asuma got scared and cowered behind Gai.

So, who were the jounin that decided to get together and eat Asuma's ramen? Well, there was Asuma, of course, Kurenai, Anko, and Gai. Kakashi was supposed to be there, too, but I think we all know why that didn't work out…

Just then, two little shinobi burst into the room. All the jounin gasped, but just brushed off the intruders and started to eat the ramen when they realized that it was just Naruto and Sasuke. The boys put on fake astonishment at being ignored and counted as unimportant by the older ninja.

"So, boys, why are you here?" Asuma questioned, slurping his ramen.

"Well, we came here to find Anko-san. And, look, there she is, right, Naruto?" Sasuke answered, looking to his comrade.

Naruto was drooling at the sight of all the jounins' ramen.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and slapped the back of Naruto's head. "Snap out of it!"

"OW! Sasuke-teme!" Naruto yelled, rubbing his poor head.

"Why are you looking for me, kids?" Anko inquired, stopping the fight that was about to ensue by the two boys.

Sasuke looked away from Naruto and to Anko. "Well, we need to ask you a question. But, it's kinda personal , so can we talk in a more private setting?" He put his cutest face on to try and persuade Anko. It was kinda unnecessary, because she was going to go with him anyway , but it was cute…

"And can you come, too, Kurenai-san?" Naruto asked, deciding to kill two birds with one stone.

Kurenai set her ramen down and stood up, joining Anko. "Um, sure, Naruto-kun. I'll come."

Sasuke, Naruto, Kurenai, and Anko walked out of the room and went to an empty conference room across the hall, leaving the men to ponder…Oh, dear God…

"So. What do you think _that_ was all about? Huh, Gai?"

"Who knows, Asuma. Those boys were trained by Kakashi, after all. They could be up to anything…"

Asuma blinked several times. "You talking rape, Gai?"

"WHAT! No! I didn't say that! God, you're friggin sick! You are worse than Kakashi, Asuma! Oh, my God!" Gai yelled, smacking his head on the table. Asuma blushed furiously, and went back to eating his ramen…

In the conference room, Sasuke and Naruto had set Kurenai and Anko down in a couple of chairs. Taking seats of their own, they both decided to handle this very…business like. Just like real pimps would! Naruto elbowed Sasuke, signaling that Sasuke should be the one to do all the talking. Sasuke nodded in agreement, Naruto would probably just screw everything up anyway…

Clearing his throat, he began. "So. The reason that Uzumaki-kun and I have brought you two here is to give you two a proposition."

Anko and Kurenai exchanged looks of bewilderment before Kurenai responded, "And this 'proposition' of yours would be?"

"We would like you two to work for us and be prostitutes!" Naruto butted in, pushing Sasuke aside.

Anko and Kurenai's jaws dropped. Remember that whole thing about kunoichi and getting mad. Yeah, that doesn't really apply here right now, cuz they were not only surprised and confused, but they were **ticked**. Well, hell hath no fury like that of an offended woman…or kunoichi, in this case.

"_**YOU WANT US TO BE **__**WHAT**__**!**_" Anko and Kurenai screamed simultaneously, standing up furiously and grabbing a couple of kunai.

Naruto and Sasuke sat silently, wide-eyed and scared out of their poor, little minds. When they saw the kunai, they understood what was about to occur and shot up out of their seats as well. They began to slowly back up towards the door. But the scorned kunoichi weren't going to let those sick, little brats get away that easily. They lunged forward and barely missed them. They sprinted out of the door and ran back to the shinobi in the room across the hall.

Asuma and Gai had heard Kurenai and Anko screaming, and had hidden under the table in pure horror of what happened to Sasuke and Naruto, and what would happen to them when the two came back into the room. When they heard the door nod turn and the door burst open, they took it upon themselves to start screaming like little girls. What morons…

When Sasuke and Naruto ran in to hide behind Gai and Asuma, they saw no one and heard little girls. Following the scream, they crouched to observe under the table, where they found their 'saviors' screaming in fear of Kurenai and Anko. Once the older shinobi realized that it was just the boys, they jumped up, hitting their heads. After crawling out, cursing their headaches, they each clung to one of the boys saying how they thought that they were killed by ravenous the kunoichi. The boys stared at the older, crying shinobi as if they were crazy, which, coincidentally, wasn't all inaccurate.

Then, a thought hit Naruto. "Umm, BusyBrow-Sensei, shouldn't you be with your team…in the forest…?"

Gai's crying ceased. Blinking furiously, he then remembered his team was waiting for him. "Aw…DAMN!" he cursed, beginning to totally freak out. Regaining his cool, or whatever he had of some, he pulled out his 'nice-guy pose' and said, "Well, you guys, it's been fun. But I have to be on my way and join my ever youthful team! However, I shall return. All in good time. Stay youthful and give my apologies to the ladies!" and with that, there was a puff of smoke. After it cleared, Gai was gone, and it was just Sasuke, Naruto, and Asuma. However, they hadn't realized how close to death they were. Well, Naruto and Sasuke were, anyway.

Kurenai and Anko had stealthfully snuck into the room and crept up behind the boys. Readying their kunai for the strike, with Kurenai behind Sasuke and Anko behind Naruto, they gave each other a quick nod before they grabbed the boys' shoulders with their free hands. Naruto and Sasuke yelped at the sudden contact. Turning them around to face them, Kurenai and Anko glared harshly at the two boys. Asuma had snuck away to the back of the room to avoid death by kunoichi. Naruto and Sasuke gulped and began to attempt to free themselves, but quickly stopped once the women raised their kunais to signal that _they_ had the power.

"So, you wanna ask us to be whores again, boys?" Anko asked, a sadistic grin on her face.

"No ma'am!" they answered frantically, tears beginning to pour out of Naruto's eyes. Sasuke wasn't crying, but you could clearly see the fear in his eyes. Kurenai could be scary even without saying anything.

Naruto dropped to his knees, crying his poor eyes out. "PLEASE! Just let us go and we'll never bother you or ask you to be whores ever again! We promise!" He sobbed louder.

"It's true! Just please! Let us LIVE!" Sasuke pleaded, whimpering alongside Naruto.

"Well, Kurenai? What do you say? Do we let them go?" Anko asked, turning to her partner in crime.

Kurenai smirked. "Sure. I think we've traumatized them enough. You can leave now, boys."

Sasuke and Naruto rose quickly to their feet. "Oh, thank you merciful women!" they praised, hugging Kurenai and Anko before dashing out the door. The two women turned to see that Asuma has poofed out of the room, leaving just them and the ramen. Shrugging, they went back to the table, eating the rest of the ramen and laughing at the events that had just occurred.

_/Back with Naruto and Sasuke/_

"Well, damn!" Sasuke cured, kicking a soda can in the way. "What the hell are we gonna do? It's 6:30, we have to meet Kakashi-sensei at 8:30 tomorrow morning with prostitutes, and we can't find anyone willing to be one!"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know, Sasuke. But, I'm hungry! You could've at least let me take some of their ramen for the road!"

Sasuke sweatdropped. "Do you ever think of anything _other_ than ramen?"

Naruto thought hard. Then with a huge smile, he answered, "Nope."

"Figures," Sasuke mumbled, returning to kicking the stupid can.

There was a moment or two of silence.

"So, can we **please** go and get something to eat? I'm starving!" Naruto complained.

"Fine! Let's just go to Ichiraku's. We'll eat, then come up with some kind of plan for our situation," Sasuke suggested, sighing deeply.

"YAY!" He jumped up and down happily. Grabbing Sasuke's arm for the millionth time that day, Naruto proceeded to drag Sasuke to Ichiraku's Ramen Bar for some dinner, Sasuke's treat, of course.

* * *

Kay, if I had included the part where Sasuke and Naruto are _at_ Ichiraku's, this part would have been a hell of a whole lot funnier.

Oh, and I'm not really a feminist (Ya know, the women who are all 'Women rule the world! Bow to them!'), so the whole thing of Sasuke and Naruto begging for their lives from the all-powerful Anko and Kurenai is just for laughs.

So...see where it says 'Review This Story' down there? You should totally do it. Just saying.

-LGF ;)

**Updated:**_4/28_


	4. Ramen Bar scare, Kakashi's POV

Okay, Part 4. The scene at the ramen bar and the master plan revealed! -scoff- Of /course/ there's a master plan. There's always a master plan...

Hey...Father's Day is Sunday... -blinks, then runs to Wal-Mart-

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto-san does!

**RECAP:** After arriving at the Jounin Lounge, Naruto and Sasuke ask, not only Anko, but Kurenai as well to be members of their prostitution ring. However, they were almost friggin killed. So, after some cowering behind Gai and Asuma, Gai freak-outs, and a near-death experience, our two little wannabe pimps continue their search.

_Not-Happening Prostitutes:_

**Tsunade**

**Tenten**

**Ino**

**Anko**

**Kurenai**

* * *

_/Ichiraku's Ramen Bar/_

If slurping ramen was an Olympic sport, I swear Naruto would take the gold. And I'm sure that Sasuke would agree. He just sat there, watching Naruto eat his eleventh bowl of Ramen in a matter of ten minutes. That's more than a bowl a minute! Naruto felt the gaze of the Uchiha, however, and turned to face him. Taking note that Sasuke was gawking at him, he said, "What the hell are you doing?"

"What are you?"

"Huh?" Naruto took another slurp of ramen.

"What the hell are you? No one eats ramen like that. The hell is _wrong_ with you!"

"Nothing. What's wrong with you?"

Frustrated, Sasuke grabbed his chopsticks, broke them, and began to eat his ramen. "Nevermind, just go back to…doing whatever you were doing."

Naruto shrugged and, indeed, went back to his ramen.

The ramen guy came up to give Naruto his next bowl of ramen that he had asked for a couple of minutes ago. Setting the bowl down carefully, so his hand wouldn't get eaten off, he inched slowly away, bumping into his daughter, Ayame. Ayame looked confusedly at her father's cautiousness, not fully understanding why he was doing it. Seeing her confusion, the ramen guy pointed shakily at Naruto, who had just started on the new bowl of ramen. Ayame's eyes widened. She understood now. Putting on a brave smile, she walked over to the two boys. "Can I get you two anything else?"

Throwing a disgusted glance to Naruto, Sasuke answered with a simple, "No. Thank you, though," and went back to his own ramen.

Smiling and thanking the deity that was watching over her tonight, Ayame nodded and walked away. Naruto, however, had stopped his massive slurping of the ramen to notice Ayame. Setting the bowl and his chopsticks down, he shook Sasuke to get his attention.

"WHAT?" Sasuke whispered harshly, pushing Naruto's hand away.

"That girl, Sasuke!" he excitably whispered back.

Sasuke looked over to Ayame who was talking to another customer. "What about her?"

"We can ask _her_ to be part of our pimp circle!" Naruto smiled triumphantly.

Thinking back to the day's earlier events, Sasuke shook his head, coming to a very rational conclusion. "Um, I don't think we should."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, her dad owns the ramen place. So, if he finds out that we asked his daughter to be a whore, he won't ever let us come back again. And for two-"

"STOP! NO MORE!" Naruto cried, cutting Sasuke off. "We won't ask. Just stop with the torture!"

"Okay, Naruto. I'll stop. Just shut-up. You're causing a scene."

The other customers were staring oddly at the crying blonde and his blue-black haired companion, and whispering different rumors about them. Sasuke and Naruto's faces turned a slight pink and the two boys stared down at their ramen bowls. Curious as to what Naruto was yelling about, Ayame walked back over to the boys. "Are you two okay?"

Naruto's eyes widened at hearing Ayame speak. Remembering what Sasuke had told him, Naruto shot up and ran away from Ichiraku's screaming, "I'M SORRY!" Sasuke and Ayame blinked several times before Sasuke paid for their meal, apologizing profusely for Naruto's erratic behavior. Getting up as well, Sasuke took off after Naruto, who could still be heard very clearly even though he had a four minute head start.

Naruto continued running as fast as he could, screaming and crying about ramen. He eventually was stopped, by running into none other than our favorite chuunin teacher. Umino Iruka. Iruka had just finished grading some papers and had decided to take a walk to help clear his head. He didn't count on running into his former student. Well, having his former student run into him, actually. Seeing that it was Iruka, Naruto attached himself to Iruka's mid-section and proceeded to bawl like a baby. Concern and worry taking over, Iruka embraced the boy and asked, "Naruto-kun? What's the matter?"

"Oh, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto called through his crying. "It was awful! If we asked that lady to help us out, then her father would've found out, and gotten mad at us, then he would never let me eat ramen ever again, and Sasuke was all, 'Stop causing a scene, Naruto', 'cause I was crying 'cause I was upset, and then I ran off, leaving Sasuke with the BILL!"

Iruka attempted to process what his little friend had just told him. The only words he understood were: Iruka-sensei, ramen, Sasuke, Naruto, and bill. But, being Iruka, he had to at least try to comfort him. "It's okay, Naruto. I'm sure you can still eat ramen."

Naruto's crying came to a halt. Looking up at Iruka with watery, blue eyes, he asked, "Are you sure, Iruka-sensei?"

"Positive," he replied, smiling sweetly.

At this point, Sasuke had finally caught up to Naruto. Running up to him, he panted, "Dobe. You owe me 20 bucks."

Naruto turned away from his former sensei to look at Sasuke. Rubbing the back of his head and chuckling, he said, "Oh. Sorry, teme. I guess I did kinda leave you with the bill, didn't I?"

Sasuke chose not to respond, but to simply glare at the blonde boy who had just dove behind Iruka to keep from being killed. Remembering that Naruto and Sasuke hardly ever hung out together willingly, Iruka questioned, "Sasuke-kun. What are you and Naruto doing out, anyway?"

Sasuke's attention went from Naruto to Iruka. Choosing the words carefully, he retorted, "We're on a very important mission."

"Mission? If you're on a mission, then why didn't Kakashi-san send Sakura-chan with you two?"

Sasuke thought of a quick response. "He did, but she had to go home early."

"Oh, makes sense."

"Sasuke, that is such a lie! Sakura-chan was never with us on a 'mission'! And this isn't even a mission!" Naruto blurted.

"Naruto," Sasuke threatened through clenched teeth.

"This isn't a mission? Then what is it?" Iruka asked, becoming annoyed that he couldn't get a straight answer from either of the two.

"It's-" Sasuke began, but again was cut off by Naruto.

"It's a way to get money! Ya see, Kakashi-sensei needed money, so Sasuke and I are helping him get some by being pimps!"

Iruka's eyes widened considerably. "PIMPS!"

"Yeah, pimps. It was Sasuke's idea." Naruto said, proudly.

"Sasuke," Iruka growled.

"Iruka-sensei?" Sasuke riposted sheepishly.

"How do you know anything about pimps?"

"I read about them in one of Kakashi-sensei's books."

"Of course." Iruka rolled his eyes at Kakashi's carelessness. Shaking his head, Iruka looked back to the two boys. "Okay, you two. It's a little after seven o'clock. Go home, and forget about being pimps. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I still have some more papers to grade. Good night." And with that, Iruka was gone, away in a puff of grey smoke, leaving a couple of dumbfounded kids.

_/With Kakashi/_

Kakashi was sitting lake-side, reading his infamous Icha Icha Paradise book. It was peaceful, and he had just gotten to a 'good' part, when his silence was interrupted by a very-much ticked chuunin. Glancing at Iruka, Kakashi greeted him with a casual, "Yo." before going back to his book. Well, Iruka wasn't going to take a simple 'yo' from the jounin, so he grabbed Kakashi's precious book, getting the older man's undivided attention.

"So. You told Sasuke and Naruto that they could be pimps?"

"Sort of. Can I have my book back now?"

"NO! How could you, Kakashi? They're twelve! They can't be pimps!"

"I know."

Iruka was baffled by Kakashi's last statement. "What?"

"I know they can't be pimps. That's why I'm letting them try," he answered, standing up.

"You're going to have to be more specific that _that_, Kakashi-san."

The older man sighed. "Well, for the past three weeks, those boys have talked about nothing but being pimps. When Sasuke first suggested it, I told him that they couldn't be pimps, and I thought that would be the end of that. But, I was wrong. So, because I couldn't get it through their thick heads that being a pimp was impossible, I decided to let them prove it to themselves."

Iruka was astounded. "Wow, Kakashi. That is actually a brilliant idea. Let them make their own mistakes and teach themselves a lesson. I'm amazed."

"Well, I'm not a genius for nothing, Iruka-san. Now, can I _please_ have my book back?" Kakashi stretched out his hand to get the book.

Iruka jerked the book back. "This is strictly a learning purpose, right?"

"Right."

"And you have absolutely no faith in them whatsoever?"

"None."

"Okay." He handed Kakashi his book. "Thank you for clearing things up, Kakashi-san. Have a good night."

"You too, Iruka-san."

Both of them poofed out simultaneously, leaving nothing of their meeting save for a couple of grey clouds.

_/Back with Naruto and Sasuke/_

It was now about 7:30, and our wannabe pimps were having no luck at all. They continued to just walk aimlessly walk around the village. Sasuke finally decided to walk to a stationary store and buy some paper and a pen.

"What are we gonna do with that stuff, teme?" Naruto queried.

"We're gonna make some lists," Sasuke responded, taking a seat on a bench, and began writing down names.

"About what?"

"Our prostitutes."

"I don't get it."

"You wouldn't. Look, dobe, it's really easy. We just write down the names of the women we can still ask to be whores and the ones that we've already deemed 'not going to work'. Do you get it now?"

"Um, kinda. So, we just make a list, right?"

"Right. See? It's simple."

This list of Sasuke's looked something like this:

**No:**

_Tsunade _

_Tenten _

_Ino _

_Anko_

_Kurenai_

_Ayame_

_Sakura_

**Not Yet:**

_Inuzuka Hana_

_Huugya Hinata_

_Uzuki Yugao_

_Shizune_

"Well, Naruto, it's about 7:45. In less than thirteen hours we have to go meet Kakashi and tell him that we failed miserably," Sasuke sighed, folding his list up and putting it in his pocket.

"Yep. You got a good point there, Sasuke. So, what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know. Let's just go home."

"But Sasuke! We still have four names left! What about them?"

"I'll tell you what, Naruto. Let's just go home. At 7:30 tomorrow morning, we'll meet at the bookstore and hit the final few names. That leaves an hour before we have to go meet Kakashi. So, you just wanna do that?"

"Sure. Sounds good. I'm beat!" He yawned loudly for emphasis. Walking away, he called, "Good night, teme! See ya tomorrow!"

Walking away as well, Sasuke called back, "Yeah. Whatever."

* * *

So, there you have it. Only four more women left to go. Oh, and if you don't remember who Uzuki Yugao is, she's Hayate's...ex-girlfriend, I guess, cuz he's dead now... -cries for the death of Hayate- I loved Hayate!

Anyway, click 'Review This Story' down there and tell me what you think. The Holy Doughnut commands it! -points to a threatening doughnut that looks ready to smite- See? Commanding.

-LGF ;)

**Updated:**_5/16_


	5. The Results and The End

Well, this is the final part of "Pimp My Sasuke Again." I just want to tell you guys that you all rock major sox, and that I've enjoyed reading what you guys have to say about Sasuke and Naruto's crazy adventure to become pimps. I LOVE YOU ALL! -sobs-

Okay. Now that /that's/ done, I hope you enjoy the end of "Pimp My Sasuke Again."

Disclaimer: -scoff- Ha! I /wished/ I owned Naruto…

**RECAP:** Naruto's 'no ramen ever again at Ichiraku's' scare after suggesting to ask the ramen chef's daughter to be a prostitute caused him to run straight into the mid-section of our favorite chuunin teacher, Iruka. When he found out what the boys were up to, an upset Iruka went to confront the one and only Kakashi. After finding out that Kakashi had no faith in Naruto and Sasuke's pimp ability, the two shinobi said their farewells while our cute, little pimp wannabes comprised a list of their remaining women to ask.

_Not-Happening Prostitutes:_

**Tsunade**

**Tenten**

**Ino**

**Anko**

**Kurenai**

**Ayame**

* * *

_/Next Day, 8:30 am, Konoha Bridge/_

Well, Naruto and Sasuke did, indeed, meet at the bookstore at 7:30 this fine morning. So, getting the list out again, they continued their endeavor to find some prostitutes. And after a slap from Yugao for each of them, a faint from Hinata, a blush and a 'I have to go do something for the Hokage-sama' from Shizune, and having to run for 20 minutes from Hana's dogs, the Haimaru Sankyodai, they finally made it to the bridge. They were both sweaty, out of breath, and their cheeks still hurt, but they were there. But guess who wasn't.

It was now 8:32. You would expect that when someone tells you to meet them at a bridge at 8:30 in the morning, that they would be responsible and show up too. But when said someone is known as Hatake Kakashi, you'd be so wrong. So, here our two wannabe pimps were, in pain and waiting. It was a good thing that they had dealt with Kakashi long enough to know that he was never on time, but they were kind of hoping that, just this once, he'd be courteous enough to stick to his word. Guess hopes don't help in the long run…Regardless, they waited. Kakashi had to come sometime, right?

_/Konoha Bridge, 9:12 am/_

It had been over half an hour and there was still no sign of the infamous Copy-nin. And Naruto and Sasuke growing more impatient by the minute wasn't exactly helping.

"Where is he!" Naruto whined, flailing his arms about.

"I don't know," Sasuke sighed, looking at his reflection in the water. Currently, Naruto was sitting on the bridge while Sasuke simply looked over it. Seeing Naruto flailing around made Sasuke a little nervous. "By the way, dobe. Get off the bridge."

"No! Screw you, teme. I'm not getting off the-AHHH!" Yep. In response to Sasuke's concerned order, Naruto had moved enough to fall off the bridge and into the water below. Hiding an amused smirk, Sasuke shrugged. "Told you to get off the bridge."

"Shut-up, Sasuke," Naruto responded, sputtering water out of his mouth like a fountain.

"Focus chakra to your feet, stand on the water, then jump back up," Sasuke ordered, turning back to his usual task of doing nothing.

Muttering, Naruto took Sasuke's suggestion, focusing his chakra and jumping back on the bridge. He was tempted to push the smug Uchiha into the water below, but decided that he was tired enough, and didn't need Sasuke to make it any worse.

_/Konoha Bridge, 10:00 am/_

An hour and a half. Naruto and Sasuke had been waiting a full hour and a half for their ever-tardy jounin sensei. Naruto was complete dry now and the boys sat on the bridge, staring up at the clouds.

"I feel like Shikamaru," Naruto stated with a classic Shika sigh.

"That's troublesome," Sasuke responded, completely straight-faced.

There was silence, then the two wannabe pimps shared laughter at Sasuke's bad attempt at a joke.

"That sucked, teme."

"I know, dobe."

Then they went back to staring at the clouds.

_/Konoha Bridge, 10:45 am/_

"Where the hell is he!" Naruto screamed jumping up and down on the bridge.

Sasuke blinked several times at his companions childish behavior. "Naruto, quit being dumb. You know Kakashi's at least three hours late to _everything_. That includes meeting us to discuss our complete and total failure."

The blonde shinobi scoffed, fixing his head band. "He's such a prick." Naruto sat by Sasuke once again to wait for Kakashi.

At that moment, their pink-headed teammate made her way onto the bridge. "Hey, Sasuke! Naruto! What are you guys doing here?" she called, running to her team.

Naruto jumped up again to meet his rosette friend. "Oi, Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke's eyes widened. It was officially time to freak. '_If Sakura finds out what we're doing, she'll pummel us into the ground! I have to shut Naruto up_!' he thought frantically, jumping up to join his teammates.

"So, what are you two doing here? You usually don't just…hang out with each other," Sakura asked, rather behooved as to why Naruto and Sasuke were on a bridge together.

"Well…" Sasuke began, but was, once again, interrupted by his blonde friend.

"Sasuke and I are waiting on Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan!"

"Kakashi-sensei? But, why would just you _two _be waiting on him?" she asked, a little hurt to know that she wasn't invited to join her sensei and teammates to do something. "Are you three going on a mission?"

Sasuke could recognize the hurt and could tell she was on the brink of tears. Not being able to handle crying girls very well, Sasuke decided to take the situation back under control. He covered Naruto's mouth with his hand and proceeded to explained a rather elaborate, yet believable, lie to the poor kunoichi. "You see, Sakura, Naruto and I are waiting for Kakashi because he owes us some money."

"Really? What for?" Sakura inquired, a little bit happier that she wasn't left out of something that only her male colleagues were able to do.

"Well…He caught Naruto and I this morning and asked us to deliver something to the Hokage for him, because you know Kakashi and how lazy he is."

"Yeah, he _is_ rather lazy." Sakura affirmed, rolling her eyes.

"Exactly," Sasuke continued. "So, in order to get us to do anything for him, Naruto and I made Kakashi promise to pay us something for our troubles, considering how far Kakashi lives from the Hokage Tower. Hence, why we're waiting here for him. Right, Naruto?" He sent the gagged ninja a glare to ensure his cooperation.

Naruto understood what Sasuke was saying and simply nodded in agreement to Sasuke's story.

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry for butting into your business. I was just afraid that I was left out of something," Sakura apologized, slightly pink from her embarrassment.

"It's fine, Sakura. Don't worry about it. So, what are you doing out here, anyway?" Sasuke asked, quickly changing the subject and keeping his hand over Naruto's mouth so that the loud-mouth didn't screw anything up.

"Oh, well, I was going to the store to get a couple of things for my mom."

"Oh. Then you should get going. I'm sorry we held you up," Sasuke apologized, showing sincerity.

The pink of Sakura's face deepened. "Oh! Don't worry about, Sasuke-kun. I-it's fine! Really! Well, I should go…" Sakura walked past the two ninja, calling her goodbye as she disappeared around a bend.

Sasuke released his grip on Naruto's mouth and sighed in relief. "That was too close for comfort."

Naruto wasn't as relieved as Sasuke, however. "Teme!" he growled.

"I had to keep you from telling Sakura why we were waiting for Kakashi. If she found out that we were looking for prostitutes so we could be pimps, she'd kill us and start lecturing us about degrading women like that. And, I'd rather not hear that right now," Sasuke explained, looking boredly at his fellow shinobi.

Naruto blinked. "Oh. Got it."

The two sat down, exhausted from their encounter with Sakura.

/_Konoha Bridge, 11:20 am/_

There was a poof of gray smoke, awaking two resting and annoyed genin. Kakashi stood before his students, holding his precious Icha Icha book.

Naruto sprung up and pointed furiously at their sensei. "YOU'RE LATE!"

"I know," Kakashi answered. "But I was walking down the street when a bag of animal crackers appeared and all the little animals in it jumped out of the bag and chased me all around the village."

Sasuke sweatdropped. "That has to be the dumbest excuse you've ever come up with, Kakashi."

"Sorry. Short notice," he apologized, his visible eye crinkling to indicate his smile.

"Yeah, whatever," Sasuke and Naruto grumbled simultaneously, crossing their arms and glaring at the older ninja.

"So," Kakashi began, deciding to get straight to the point. "How did it go?"

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged glances. It was wordlessly decided that Sasuke should be the one to break the news. "Well…not so good."

"Not so good?" the elder ninja echoed.

"Not so good. We…didn't recruit anyone."

Both boys hung their heads. "We're sorry, Sensei."

Kakashi chuckled, causing the boys to snap their heads up. "It's okay boys. Actually, this is what I expected of you."

Sasuke eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Coming back empty-handed is what I expected of you two."

Naruto was still confused. "So, you had no faith in us? At all?"

Kakashi smiled. "Nope. None."

Sasuke and Naruto's eyes burned, their chakra levels rising slowly.

"So…we almost got killed for nothing?" Sasuke interrogated, Sharingan activated and stepping closer to Kakashi.

"Um…yes…?" Kakashi responded, growing concerned.

"And we almost got kicked out of Ichiraku's for nothing?" Naruto growled, his Kyuubi voice coming out.

"Um…I guess so…? What are you two doing…?" Kakashi asked, very concerned of his safety.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke began, he and Naruto glaring at the jounin.

"Run." they stated concurrently.

Kakashi wasted no time in using his ninja speed to run away from the enraged boys, the two of them on directly on his trail.

So, for the next few hours, Kakashi really was chased around the village by a couple of animals, however, they were much more dangerous than any cracker he could've ever encountered.

* * *

_**FINIS!**_

Well, that's it. No more. It's all done. A humorous ending to a humorous tale.

So. I guess this is goodbye, you guys.

**Sasuke: **Liar. You already have something else in mind.

**LGF: **-glares at Sasuke- How do /you/ know?

**Sasuke: **Cuz it's about me?

**Naruto: **And me!

**LGF: **Tch. Smug, little brats. It was /supposed/ to be a surprise! Alright, alright. I have another 'Pimp My Sasuke' in mind.

**Sasuke and Naruto: **YAY! -party-

**LGF: **Yeah, whatever. So, keep a look out for the third and final "Pimp My Sasuke." Until then, guys!

See the 'Review This Story'? Good. Review! Or else you'll make the boys cry…

**Naruto and Sasuke: **-tear up, pouty lip, and angel pose- Pwease…?

**Updated:**_6/30_


End file.
